Starting Over Again
by Yuuki Miyaka
Summary: Moemi finds that a romance with Niimai isn't as easy as she'd first thought it would be.


Disclaimer:  
Video Girl Ai and all the characters therein belong to Katsura-sensei. I'm only borrowing them for a little fun, and promise to polish them and put them back as good as new. :)   
  
Dedication:  
This story is dedicated to my brother, Dave, my sister, Kira, and my husband, Colin. Thank you, guys.   
  
Author's Notes:  
This story is, of course, an alternate universe to the one created in both the manga and the anime. :) One thing that is different is that for some reason, Youta and Ai remain together despite her time limit. I don't know how that would be possible. Sorry. The story revolves around Moemi. Please remember that the author (despite starring her in this role) does not like Moemi at all. :) I'm putting aside all of my dislike and anger of her to write this, so please give me a little leeway.   
  
Starting Over Again  
A Video Girl Ai fic  
by: Yuuki Miyaka  
  
After Ai came along, Moemi had noticed that her time with Motenuchi-kun was becoming less and less. Moemi didn't like that. After all, Motenuchi-kun was her best friend, and besides, she had so many problems dealing with Niimai-kun lately.  
  
The problems in her love life had started a little over a week ago, and had only gone downhill from there. It began with Niimai-kun telling her that he wasn't sure how he felt about her.   
  
***  
  
"Moemi-chan? There's something we need to discuss..." Takashi's voice trailed off, but his expression seemed grim to Moemi. She steeled herself. They had been having difficulties lately, but nothing that they couldn't overcome. He probably had some problem that wasn't really related to her to talk about.  
  
"Of course, Niimai-kun. What is it?" She sat in his house, her hands folded demurely on her lap. It was wonderful just being near him. But sometimes, just sometimes, she wished for a little more. She wished that he would hold her, would kiss her. She wished he would treat her more like a girlfriend. No matter, though. She would do everything in her power to make sure that he loved her.   
  
"How do I say this to you?" The words were muttered; she could barely hear them. But all the same, she had a bad feeling about this. And that feeling was only compounded when she saw the same look on his face. It was pale, sad. "Moemi-chan, I've been looking at my feelings again. I...I don't know what to tell you."  
  
She didn't need him to continue. She had been half-expecting this for some time, unable to quite believe it but at the same time knowing it was true. "You don't love me, do you?" It was a whisper, barely spoken, barely believed. But it was said, nonetheless.  
  
"Moemi..." The name trailed off, and she noticed that he didn't place the endearment at the end of it. That hurt. "It's nothing to do with you. You're a sweet, very wonderful girl. I'm just not attracted to anyone right now. It would be a disservice to you to continue this relationship under such conditions. What more can I say?"  
  
She nodded once, and stood. In utter silence, she gathered up her belongings and left the house, walking for a long time before she headed home.   
  
***  
  
That had started it. She wanted to at least remain friends. They had all been friends once upon a time. Before Ai had come, and before Motenuchi-kun had started ignoring her. Before her fiasco with Niimai. But she didn't know if she could remain friends. It was so hard even passing him in the street.  
  
And then, one day, he called her. It was out of the blue. She had not expected to hear from him again, much less so soon. But when she answered the phone, there was his voice, talking quietly and calmly about how he would like to see her, to see how she was doing.  
  
She answered as he had expected. She would be delighted for him to visit. She set the time for the next day, and then she left her house, going on a walk. She couldn't explain why she had chosen to allow him to visit. Perhaps it was the fact that she still loved him so very much, or the fact that she had wanted to remain friends so badly. All she knew was that he was coming over for lunch the very next day, and she was already scared silly.   
  
***  
  
The next morning, she went to the market, buying all sorts of foodstuffs to prepare. Only Niimai-k... Only Niimai's favorites were to go in the meal. And when she got home, she cooked for two hours. Finally, when lunch was ready, she went to her bedroom, preparing herself as she had prepared the food. She wore the blouse that Niimai had complimented her on, and the skirt that he said matched her eyes. She brushed her hair into it's best style, put on a little makeup so that she looked her best. She used minimal and quiet jewelry. It suited her personality.  
  
When she finally looked in the mirror, only moments before he arrived, she found a very beautiful woman staring back at her. For a brief, terrifying moment, she felt like breaking that mirror. She hated herself, hated the way she looked. But at the same time, she prayed that he would like it. Finally closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, then jumped as she heard the doorbell ring.  
  
She ran to answer the bell, not wanting to keep him waiting. It didn't seem to matter. He seemed as cool as ever walking in, and only her sensibilities kept her from screaming. He touched her shoulder, then moved to the table, saying nothing. She nodded, going to the kitchen to serve him, then sitting herself. The two of them ate in silence, and it was only when the meal was gone, and all that was left was dessert that the first words were spoken.  
  
"It's good to see you again, Moemi." His voice was stilted and formal. It seemed as if he had no idea of what to do or say to her. He was not the only one, unfortunately.  
  
"It's good to see you as well, Nimaii." Nothing could mask the complete sadness she felt as she spoke to him. Her eyes said everything to him, and he turned away, not wanting to see.  
  
Moemi could see immediately how painful this was for him, and she was angry. If it was so painful for him to come see her, why was he here? He didn't owe her anything, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway. He didn't want her back. That was obvious in his manner. His only reason for coming here had been her statement that she wanted to remain friends.  
  
She nodded, making small talk, trying to keep the conversation from dying as he packed up and left. And when he was at the door, there was nothing to be said. He turned and left without a word.  
  
Moemi's arms folded around herself as she stared at the door, willing him to come back, to say that he needed her in his life. But he didn't, and she eventually sank to the floor, tears in her eyes.   
  
***  
  
Months had passed, and Motenuchi-kun was still very happy with Ai. Moemi was pleased for him, even if she wished with all her might to have the same thing. But she didn't love anyone other than Nimaii, and she doubted she ever could. She had tried for seven months to get over him, and it was only now that it was beginning to work. She still saw him from time to time, and he was as kind and gentle as ever. Inevitably, after each time she saw him, she would pray to whatever god was listening that she get him back, that he wake up and see what he was missing. But he never did.  
  
Eventually, the pain she felt was down to a dull ache. She didn't avoid him anymore, and she was able to be friends with him. But she would never fully be able to get over him. And maybe one day they would be together again. No one could know the future after all. It might happen.  
  
Tears still plagued her at night, but only briefly as she thought about him. She knitted scarves and such to give to him. And he accepted them, more because he felt sorry for her than because he wanted or needed them. She knew this, but she couldn't do anything about it.   
  
But she had started over again. She was able to notice other men, even if she wasn't particularly interested in them. She was able to see, looking back as she was, how Motenuchi-kun had looked at her, how he had wanted a relationship with her. She regretted the way she had treated him, but she couldn't quite apologize. She had begun to care about life again. And there was someone out there who cared about her. It just wasn't Nimaii.....  
  
-Miyaka  
  
Author's Notes (2):  
I didn't honestly know how this story was going to end when I started it. I don't know if I have all of the titles or names correct, so if I have them wrong, I hope someone brings it to my attention in a private email. I'm drawing a little on my own experiences so that it will seem more realistic. I like to think that Moemi eventually found the person who loved her. :) And I like to think that she was very happy with them. Enjoy, and comments, critiques and flames can be sent to me at darkhuntress@juno.com.  
  



End file.
